Sarah: its like when people talk to you about your job
Sarah: like its not interesting for you since its your job but the other person thinks it is
Me: yea i know what you mean
Me: i feel the same way about my love (?) life
Sarah: says the girl who slept with superman undies and robot alien love story
Sarah: oh and that guy who ate your neck or strangled you or whatever
Me: let's not
Me: you done yet?
Sarah: ok done
Sarah: JUST KIDDING
"He said, 'I wish these people would ask me when... →
The Village Voice writes about the life and death of Did It Leak creator 23 year old Alan Carton.
I feel pretty plastic. It’s still hard for me to chew sometimes and I have...– - Heidi Montag on her plastic surgery. Instead of glass slippers it’s fake tits? Yea, just like Cinderella, what every girl hopes for. Urgh, just shut it down. All of it.
“NEITHER DOES HE KNOW ME NEITHER”
You know, people have strong connotations of what women on television should say...– - Kelly Cutrone on not wearing makeup. It should be obvious that I am completely in love with this woman. Completely.
Me: i'm trying to find the words to describe this mocha without being disrespectful
Patrick: Is it nothing like your neighborhood cuppa joe?
What two items are essential when trying to attract the opposite sex? CHEESE AND DIGNITY.
Louis C.K. on Conan and Jay →
The Rentals - California
Damien Hirst Is Still Trying To Piss You Off →
I was hoping with the Wall St. collapse and with it the declining market value of Hirsts’ pieces he would create something relevant, but apparently someone forgot to tell him because he’s still creating art better suited for another era.
You can’t necessarily say, ‘Oh, it’s just a job.’ You...– “Markus” America’s first legal male prostitute.
Would anyone of you be interested in forming an actual Na’vi Tribe? I...– Lines from the proposed Na’vi secession group’s invitation
Laura: I CAN'T WAIT FOR MY DAYTIME AQUARIUM DATE
Laura: BUT I HAVE MY PERIOD
Laura: WHICH SUX
Laura: NO AQUARIUM SEX
Me: JUST PUT A TOWEL DOWN GURL
Me: AIN'T NO THANG
Laura: "I'M A VIRGIN?"
What the fuck kind of Wonder Bread Wop shit is... →
(via alexbalk) “17. Cook for 6 to 10 minutes. IT WILL LOOK LIKE PIZZA WHEN IT IS DONE. IT COULD NOT BE MORE OBVIOUS, ARE YOU A MORON?” Cooking guides from The Awl are the highlight of any day.