A Way to Not Fear Death
lindsayrobertson: Each time in the future when I start to contemplate my own mortality, I will take some small comfort in the fact that with the blank horror of death will come the sweet relief of never having to hear about where in their house anyone keeps their Oscar ever, ever again. And I will fear death slightly, but measurably, less.
Whenever I hear a girl complaining that a guy used her, I instantly lose respect...– Dear Coke Talk: On how not to get used. OK, YUP! YUP. (via molls) Word.
It’s not what I seen in the script, it’s what I didn’t see....– Tracy Morgan on Cop Out
What are friends for?
Patrick: dude i tots understand if you are bummed
Patrick: BUT I WILL BE THE BEST DISTRACTION EVAR
Patrick: like "Aw man Patrick I'm bummed. Kinda wanna call [redacted] up and see what he's--garglegarglegargle" (that's the sound of me pouring liquor down your throat)
marklisanti: I can’t remember the last time I laughed so hard at anything.
perpetua: Aziz Ansari bitches out rappers for...
seven significant purchases
agrammar: In 1989, in a small-town mall, a middle-aged, middle-eastern man approaches a bookstore. He pauses in the entryway, takes a deep breath, and removes a bill from his pocket. He straightens his jacket and his spine. Then he walks directly to the counter, with great purpose, with the bill held forward, and says: “One Satanic Verses, please.” The woman he’s just cut in front of recognizes...
Science: Bad Men Make Women Sad →
In other “No Shit” news.
It seems like common sense, right? Be nice, be... →
The Awl teaches you how to be happy.
I mean, yeah, maybe you’re not getting drunkenly laid, but seriously - you...– Patrick. He always knows what to say to make me feel better? Btw, this tumblr isn’t becoming the “Patrick Shipp Says Stuff That is Worth Remembering Blog,” but we just re- discovered Google chatting at work.
life is easier when you form opinions based on what you actually enjoy and not...– Brandon dropping knowledge.
I believe that if, at the end of it all, according to our abilities, we have...– Roger Ebert (via alexblagg)
Walked right into that one
Me: well i mean i'm just going to have my hard drive and then you can listen to some it on my ipod and decide what you like
Randee: i'll give you a hard drive
Scientists may be close to developing a... →
Great. So now you’re unhappy, but horny. This will only end well for everybody.
Did I mention Patrick is coming to LA?
Patrick: i'm such a bitch when I'm emodrunk
Me: i can be pretty salty
Me: but normally i'm a love bug
Patrick: me too
Patrick: I've definitely cried tears of bromance before
Patrick: total "I love you guys" shit
Me: oh i've never cried out of joy
Me: fucking pussy
Patrick: i will kick your face in
Patrick: while crying
Me: yea after you cry like a fucking bitch
I really hate vaginas. I’m allergic to vagina. But I can’t say I had...– Robert Pattinson on his Details photo shoot I wonder how many teen girls are confused by this comment.
"The Jersey Shore-ites have never known a world in... →
I WANNA WAKE UP IN A GUTTER IN ECHO PARK. THUG LIFE BIOTCH– Patrick Shipp might be coming to L.A.